What are some of your best stories/rants/comments?

I want to be entertained. Tell me a story. Why you hate Star Wars, how you got so drunk you stuck sushi down your pants. How you got kicked out of a theater. Why you hate skating. The night you almost died from something stupid. The time you saw a monkey eating it's own poo at the zoo. Your most embarassing story, you friend's most embarassing moment ever, anything!





Anything at all, make sure it's a few paragraphs please. I want to read something nice and long.





Rants, stories, ideas, complete sillines and/or insanity are completely welcome. You can even make absolutely no sense if you want to, it just has to be entertaining. Most entertaining bit wins.What are some of your best stories/rants/comments?
You should read my MySpace profiles, yes there's an s at the end of that. They'll keep you entertained for hours. I'm actually kinda known for the idiocy on them.





http://www.myspace.com/the311saint


http://www.myspace.com/ajcontinuedWhat are some of your best stories/rants/comments?
Ok i got a embarassing story...My mom kicked me out one weekend so i decided to go stay with my b/f *ex* at the time he was staying at this little cheap hotel. I stayed with him for three days. During that time i got drunk, we had this big snow storm and it so happen that i was drunk with no clothes on and decided to go outside in the snow to ';play'; i made it out the door when my ex was like ';what the hell are you doing'; so he got me to put my clothes on and sit me down. He said no more alcohol for you. The second night we were doing a little bit of ';role playing'; when i heard police cars outside our window. I got all scared and made him put some clothes on thinking that the police were looking for me '; i was drunk eventhough he said he wansn't going to give me anymore alcohol he did'; anyway so he was drunk to he decided to go outside and check things out. He went outside and actually walked over to the cop and said ';what's goin on over here who you lookin for'; the cop looked at him and was like ';were not lookin for you go away'; so he came back in and i was all happy that he didnt' get taken away ';lol';. The third night we were in a diffrent hotel room but at the same hotel. The night before we were eating these tacos like crazy and the next day the sort of caught up with me cause i had to go to the bathroom like crazy. So while i thought my ex was sleeping i decided to make a break for the bathroom and ';handle'; my business. I'm a very private person i don't like when people know i have to take a poop. So i attempted to close the bathroom door but it was broke so it would only close halfway. then i sat on the toliet and the damn thing leaned to the side. So i'm on the toliet trying to go when i hear my ex say you ok in there. i'm like wtf i thought he was sleeping but instead i said o i'm ok go back to sleep i'm about to take a shower... so i turned the hot water on and all this hot water was mixing with my stinky smell and all i was thinkin is i hope he dont' smell this so i got finished washed my hands of course and got in the bed and was like ';ew did you fart or somethin you stink so damn bad'; lol to try to blame the smell on him. Well that's it' it's long and stupid haha enjoy.