';We don't need a piece of paper to show that we are committed to each other...'; *RANT*?

Come on, ladies. You know if your boyfriend of 2 or 3 years or however long you've been with him, got down on one knee and asked you to marry him, you'd say yes in a heartbeat.





I just don't understand the purpose of staying together as boyfriend and girlfriend, living together, having KIDS together and NOT getting married.





I dated my lady for 1 year before I knew she was the one. We were about to put the plans in motion to be able to just live together, and I thought, ';Why the hell am I doing this? I want to marry her and have a life with her. I need to make this official.'; And so I did, in front of all my family and closest friends and it was amazing. We've been married for 3 years and I couldn't be happier.





So explain this whole, ';We don't need to get married just to prove we love each other'; stuff.';We don't need a piece of paper to show that we are committed to each other...'; *RANT*?
Amen, amen and A--FREAKING--MEN!!





Thanks for proving that there are STILL men of principle out there.





Furthermore, there are ';1,400 legal rights... conferred upon married couples in the U.S. Typically these are composed of about 400 state benefits and over 1,000 federal benefits.';








Also, ';Maggie Gallagher and Linda J. Waite, authors of... 'The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially' use extensive scientific data along with illustrative anecdotes to demonstrate that the traditional ';'til death do us part'; vow of matrimony creates a unique relationship that enriches the husband and wife in every observable way.





Gallagher and Waite begin by examining what they term ';postmarriage myths';鈥攑opular beliefs such as ';marriage is mostly about children; if you don't have kids it doesn't matter whether you cohabit or marry or stay single,'; and ';Marriage is essentially a private matter, an affair of the heart between two adults, in which no outsider, not even the children of the marriage, should be allowed to interfere';鈥攁nd demonstrate that these widely-held viewpoints have no basis in science or fact.





Marriage is not merely a ';private matter'; or a ';slip of paper,'; the authors argue, because the act of getting married changes a great deal with regard to the way that couples behave and interact with one another, plan for the future, and experience fulfillment. This transformation, they claim, has immense ramifications for our society. As Gallagher and Waite put it, ';Getting married doesn't merely certify a preexisting love relationship. Marriage actually changes people's goals and behavior in ways that are profoundly and powerfully life enhancing.';';We don't need a piece of paper to show that we are committed to each other...'; *RANT*?
I think it is mostly commitment issues and fear of divorce. Also, in today's society, I think that getting married should be taken more seriously then it used to. Meaning that people should consider it longer, because divorce is so high, people are very quick to give up, and the economy is making it very difficult for most families to provide for themselves.





It does seem to me that more people are getting married because they 'love' each other and that is it. It takes so much to make a marriage work and if there are kids then it is even harder. Lots of couples get divorced after their kids are grown because they have nothing in common anymore.





I have also heard that men who are married live longer then single men and women who are married don't live as long as single women.
';We need a piece of paper to show that we are committed to each other...'; Rant?


Come on, guys. You know if your girlfriend of 2 or 3 years or however long you've been with her, said that she didn't want to get married and just wanted to live with you, you'd say yes in a heartbeat.





I just don't understand the purpose of having to file with the courts to make it official and have kids together and so on.





I've been married twice and both times thought for sure he was the one. Turned out people aren't always who they seem or you both change and grow in different directions. I was with both of them for about 10 years each. At first I couldn't of been happier, but as time went on it became miserable for all involved.





So now explain this whole, ';We need a piece of paper to show that we are committed to each other....'; stuff.
Some people are independant and dont need to be supported by another. I have lived with my bf for 13 years and we get along great. I know he is commited to me because he wants to be not because of a pice of paper.


I like knowing that if things turn sour, I can leave without having to go through the mess of a divorce.


Everyone is different and wants different things, to each his own!!!
Sometimes .. or maybe all of the time .. folks say they don't need a piece of paper to show they are committed .. is just an excuse.





It can be an excuse for not wanting the legal binding .. or simply not having to go through wedding nuptials. Also - a lot of times - one of the persons may not really want to be serious with the other person .. they just don't want to be tied to them - they just man want to live with them .. thus-they aren't serious enough about the person.





I know there are a whole host of reasons, per individual, not to need the binding piece of paper .. however - marriage is Holy Matrony - establisehd and designed by God .. and has been passed down through the ages.
I couldn't agree with you more!! People have no self respect! I mean what's wrong with doing the right thing?? And when did it become acceptable not to do the right thing????
Well I have been married twice now and am in the middle of my second divorce as we speak and to tell you the truth my current bf and I are in the same boat and have already discussed the fact that we do not need that piece of paper.


Both marraiges for me of course started off as thinking we would be together forever well honey it didn't happen and it is true that most problems start with that piece of paper so I no longer see the need however I am happy for people that do get married it just never worked out for me
you are so right.....couples DO need a piece of paper, maybe not to prove the commitment to each other, but to prove it in the eyes of the law.....heaven forbid should something happen to one of you (which eventually it will since none of us leave this world alive) ...when there is no marriage the surviving spouse has no rights to social security benefits, many times company pensions....no right to plan or have any say in a funeral or what becomes of belongings.....
simple...some people need it and some don't , kinda like religion. some need it some dont. For security purposes. We all don't want or nor do we have to need the same things. I relaized that after being married and cheated on that it was a false sence of secrity as it is for most. Look at the divorce rate. Appears to not be working. Its like people keep hitting their heads against the wall. I find a sence of security knowing that my guy is here with me becasue he wants to be not becasue he has to be.To each there own. Different things make different people happy, there is not any right thing. guess i am open minded! Thanks goodness!
the ritual of ';marriage'; , the most common one preformed in the united states, seems to me to be for political and/or religious reasons. neither of which i hold any faith.





--it also seems to me some people will ask for opposing opinions when they dont actually want to hear them.
And what is right for you is not necessarly right for another.


I suppose ';old fashioned'; is a more politcally correct and safe term to use for that mind set.
I am married to my husband, yet if he wanted out, I would say, ';GO';. Because I don't want someone staying with me because they promised to, in front of witnesses. If he would want to go it would tear me up, but I don't want some guy thinking he is doing me some big favor.





But still, we are married almost 15 years and would both perish without the other.





I don't understand it either, and I think it is really dumb, people having a bunch of kids and saying they aren't ready to get married. Nothing anchors you down like kids. There is no bigger committment than a child, marriage is nothing compared to that.





But they are ready for kids, but not for marriage? Who are they kidding?
You are entitled to your opinions and rants just as others with opinions not in line with yours are entitled to their opinions. I personally don't see the point of passing judgement on others no matter if I agree with their opinion or not.





Congratulations on finding the love of your life. I wish you nothing but happiness.
More men like you are needed us womena rent complainging. I live with my boyfriend however it's because we knew we wanted to be with each other and we both study and work but want a nice wedding so were waiting.
I am glad you are happy in your marriage, as I am happy in mine. However, you really aren't in a position to judge how other people live.
I wish my partner was like you its been years no commitment no marriage yet
i cant explain it because i got married, had the kids and i am still happily married...i didnt do it to prove anything, but just because i loved him and wanted to be with him forever.
It isn't necessary... but the dominant cultural paradigms approve of marriage in general, and marriage affords certain legal protections not otherwise guaranteed enforceable.





It's hard to find two compatible individuals who are cooperatively willing to slough off society's automatic approval in favor of their own interests that completely. Being married Makes A Statement that otherwise may require explanation.
well I don't need it but it sure would be nice. I am 30 and have never been married. I would love to be married one day. I think that women that say this are making excuses for their bf's lack of commitment. They may not want to ';jinx'; it. Mostly I think it is what they tell themselves to feel better about being with someone for 3+ years with no marriage. Some are truly content with never being married (Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell)...some really want to be married...everyone's different.
I agree, marriage isn't just a piece of paper; it is a long-haul committment. Believe the people who say it is are not ready for the committment of marriage. I did live with my husband for 6.5 years before getting married, but I had issues of my own and did not wish to marry anyone . . . and . . . you are right, when you know this is the one you wish to be with, marriage is a committment you make without hesitation.