A friend won't let me say anything until she has finished ranting on for 10-15 minutes?

Hi I'm really frustrated with a friend who tells me not to interrupt, so I just sit there like a dummy, say oh and ar, and today I told her to tell me when I'm allowed to say something.


Like I'm a puppet.A friend won't let me say anything until she has finished ranting on for 10-15 minutes?
This could be characteristic of several actual cognitive difficulties, so she may not be being selfish as much as struggling to get herself to be capable of communicating, in the only way she is effective at doing it.





1) Talking recently to friends with Asperger Syndrome/ High Functioning Autism, many have to do that to say what's on their mind or they feel they will ';go out of their minds'; with frustration at inability to finish their thoughts.





2) A person with an expressive language disorder may need to say all she can, while she has ';caught'; her ideas into a word pattern %26amp; can express it.





3) A person with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder may be like the people in #1, feeling ';compelled'; emotionally to perfectionistically express a thought, or the ';idea'; is not ';right'; in their heads %26amp; they are bothered about it all afternoon.





4) A person with short-term memory problems (like Attention Deficit Disorder) may just be able to gather thoughts %26amp; recall them for a short time, before they start to disappear; she could take notes on what to tell you (short phrases) but not have thought of it or prefer not relying on an obvious ';crutch';.





In all of these, the person may be trying to ';save face';, not be aware of or admit to disability, but want to have friends. If she has a nonverbal learning disability on top of it, she may not have the sensitivity to perceive how uncomfortable it's making you feel.





In summary: for you to be a friend, you can both:


1) be honest about your feelings, as you are a human with feelings, too,


2) be compassionate about her difficulties or disability,


3) see if you can reach a compromise....ask her if she can tolerate talking in 7-minute ';chunks';, giving you a chance to talk a bit, then talk in another ';chunk';. The knowledge she can talk again may tide her over OK. This was suggested to me by a friend with a similar problem, but he discovered himself that the ';chunk'; method helped him.





You will be doing her a big favor for life, if you can help her improve that one social skill, in a kind but honest %26amp; firm, way!!





Thanks so much for bringing up an important issue in the lives of many disabled people!!A friend won't let me say anything until she has finished ranting on for 10-15 minutes?
she has some control issues
This is a person who's more interested in what SHE'S got to say than in what others have to say. She's already rehearsed her rants several times in front of a mirror, and now she needs a live audience. I suspect this is a person who needs a lot of attention. Is she a good enough friend that you're willing to be treated this way? Communication is an exchange, a give-and-take interaction. Your friend isn't interested in communicating with you. She just wants you to hear what she has to say. I'm betting she has no problem interrupting you when you're talking.
She is using you as an emotional dumping ground. You need to tell her, when she is clam and not yelling at you, that the next time she does this (describe her behaviour and how it makes you feel), you will get up and leave or hang up the phone. Then if she starts ranting again, be sure to say '; I really cannot communicate with you now when you are yelling at me. CALL ME when you can speak civilly to me, Good Bye';. Then get up and leave or hang up the phone. You must follow through with this plan and DO NOT apologize to her afterwards for taking a stand. She will get the message eventually that this behaviour is unacceptable.
puppet. you'll be if you keep letting her pull your strings. The thing you want to do next time don't say anything nothing at all. When she go on a ranting. listen for second or two. get up and walk away. When she says hay! where are you going tell her. I have better things to do than being used as your whipping boy. If you want to share then let us share. If she gets mad and won't have it. Leave and fine another friend. Life is to short to wast it on garbage that only serves a selfish person like her. There are so many people that would be more than willing to talk with you and not at you as she is doing. Move on down the line and leave the b*tch behind. To be kinder dust her.
We all have one like that, join the club.
I've noticed on those television talk shows at night they do that. They are always saying don't interrupt me... really rude to each other. Now I've noticed people in my life doing this and I believe they have picked it up from the ignorant media. If she lets you say something, tell her it bothers you.
She probably just needs the listening ear more than advice. Sometimes I am that way, and I am so grateful to friends who let me rant and let off steam when I need to because afterwards I feel tons better. BUT, having said that, I'd hope she would give you the same curtesy of letting you rant on to her uninterrupted for 10-15 minutes.